My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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