That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
