my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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