used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
