I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
