STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
