I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
