Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
