i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
