mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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