The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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