she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
