Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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