im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
