um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
