Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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