So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
