Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
only you would photoshop your dick
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
