how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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