At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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