I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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