ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
