Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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