next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
