I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
