the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
