wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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