make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
