sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
