ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
