Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
