Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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