You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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