i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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