I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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