So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
