i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
