Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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