omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
