As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
