redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
