YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
