i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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