my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
