Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
