if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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