We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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