Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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