I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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