im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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