god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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