I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
