No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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