We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
