He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
